As some of you know, David was one of my best friends long before we started dating. I never looked at him as anything other than “David, my lunch buddy” or “David, my I-really-need-to-vent-about-life buddy”. But lo and behold, God had another plan for us and somewhere down the line, he paved a way for us to present day where we get to spend the rest of our earthly life together.
In the beginning of those “dating days”, I remember specifically one day when I was hanging out at D’s apartment and we filled each other in on our lives, the things we didn’t know about each other. One thing I remember him asking was “If you could be anything, what would you want to be when you grow up?”. It made me laugh because those questions always seem like a question you’re asked when you’re 4 instead of 20 (which I was at the time).
But I gave it some serious thought for a moment. I had always wanted to be an actress (don’t you dare laugh) but I didn’t know if I could do that forever. I had studied journalism but I knew that still wasn’t number 1. Then it hit me. The one thing I could see myself being happy doing for the rest of my life is being a mom. More specifically, a stay at home mom.
I remember being really impressed with his reaction because he thought it was the coolest answer I could have given. He was expecting I’d say a news anchor or an author. Never did he expect me to say the job I want forever does not pay monetarily and is probably one of the hardest jobs out there.
Fast forward to present day, we have always kept this in mind. I was blessed with a husband who wants kids as much as I do but also had the same mentality. However, with the two of us coming into marriage with debt (damn you, student loans) and only having a small amount in savings, we had decided to wait on activley trying to have kids for 1.5 – 2 years. Being that we are as pro-life as it gets and Natural Family Planners (apparently it’s NFP awareness week?! yess) to the max, if God decided (or decides) to give us a baby before then, obvi we will be ecstatic and are 250% open to life. But we knew we wanted to try to get some things situated before that time comes, if at all possible.
With that said, it hasn’t always been easy being the baby-less couple. Often, I’ll have people (whether it be close friends or family) ask me, “So, you guys pregnant yet?” or “When are you two going to finally have a baby?”. Most of these questions come at me in jokingly posed questions. And I want to clear up by saying, I DON’T MIND people asking me this. That’s not the beef I have. I don’t mind people assuming we might have a baby on the way. I don’t mind people being curious and assuming this pro-life Catholic couple just may have a baby soon. It’s an obvious thing to think. I actually love when people ask me this because it gets me excited for when someday I WILL be a mom. Yes, many people look at it as a “none of your business” kind of topic, but I don’t care. That isn’t the way I look at it and I’d be curious too. Ask away!
With that said. There is something I do have beef with. Latley I’ve been coming across several blog articles or people in conversations or something I’ll hear on the news about family. Most of them have been saying how once you have a baby your family can begin or my family started with my children. And maybe I took it too seriously. Maybe I read into the comments. I personally can’t wait to grow my family, but I would never think that David and I were any less of a family because we didn’t have kids.
When we got married, I became his family and he became mine. Together, just the two of us, we make up our little family. It made me feel as though my little family, or worse, the little families of couples who can’t have children were being belittled. Family has grown to be one of the most important things in both my life and in David’s so I hate when I see it made less than it is. And in today’s world, as most of you know, that’s all too common.
As a blogger, it can often be hard to find your voice amidst all the mommy-bloggers out there. And don’t get me wrong, I love me a good mommy-blog. I never want to be one of the women who join the mommy-wars or talk ill of another woman, although I’m sad to say I am guilty of it. I am human afterall. I’m not really sure what category my blog would fall under. And I suppose I like it that way. It’s this ever-changing documentary of my little families life, I guess.
As I said, when I “grow up” I want to be a mom. But since that is not in God’s plan for us right now, I’m LOVING this time with my little family. Just the two of us enjoying vacations as a little family or going out for dinner as a little family or hours spent in a bookstore as a little family or happy hour as a little family. And when God decides to bless us with numero tres, I’ll be beside myself with joy. And I know D will too. And I’ll be even happier when you ask me “So, you guys pregnant yet?” because I’ll finally get to tell you that I have my dream job!